The foundation of relational problems is often anger and impulsivity.
Feel emotionally destroyed by impulsive remarks or behaviors: Some individuals with BPD struggle with anger management and impulsivity. To avoid this kind of triangulation, you can avoid discussing the incident with others who have nothing to do with the initial problem. But this intervention only makes things worse. Instead of solving the problem with the person the problem started with, the individual may gossip to others who then feel compelled to intervene. Get pulled into the drama triangle:Triangulation is a term used to describe an individual who often gets more than 2 people involved in a chaotic situation which results in more chaos. For example, someone with BPD may misperceive the intentions of a loved one and believe that they are being “treated like a child.” This individual may go to a close family member to gossip which causes this person to want to get involved in the argument and “make things better.” To avoid feeding into this behavior, minimizing over-exaggerations or harmful gossiping can be helpful. But some individuals seek validation to feel supported in doing things that aren’t okay. Most people seek validation from people they trust and this is healthy. Triangulation (i.e., bringing 3 or more people into an argument) is often a “vehicle” used to either obtain validation from someone else or get attention. Feed into a need for attention/validation: Not all individuals with BPD seek attention or validation from others. To begin setting these boundaries it is important not to: Setting boundaries create a set of rules that can help confrontations or arguments dissolve more quickly. Words for hiding something from someone when they need it how to#
Learning how to support someone diagnosed with BPD will require the acknowledgment that boundaries need to remain firm. To make matters worse, it is often easy to misinterpret the behaviors of those diagnosed with BPD which can lead to incorrect expectations within relationships causing miscommunication and frequent conflict.
But the language is often reflective of individuals who have been hurt, manipulated, or controlled by someone with BPD. The language used to describe individuals with BPD can come across to sufferers as cold, detached, and uncaring. come to my office desperately seeking help and suggestions on how to cope with a loved one with BPD. So it doesn’t shock me when parents, families, caregivers, friends, etc. But even as a trained therapist, there are times I miss clues when working with individuals who have BDP.
Note: The language used in this article is reflective of the terms/language of some laypeople who have experienced the following characteristics in someone with BPD.Īs a therapist, it is my job to “study” the human mind and find the “key” to helping people change or alter their ways.
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